Jensen Tan

www.about.me/jensentan

What is Religion Built On?

The_other_boyeln_girl

Today I watched an amazing movie - The Other Boyeln Girl, mostly because I'm a huge fan of Natalie Portman (actress) and her talent in acting. Beautiful too, of course.

The story line was simple. 

1. The King of England (King Henry) had a wife, Queen Catherine who could not bear him a boy, hence no prince to take over the country. 
2. King Henry was worried. 
3. Anne Boyeln, a pretty girl, seduced King Henry. 
4. Anne was very smart and was evil.
5. Anne asked King Henry to "divorce" Catherine so that Henry can remarry to Anne.
6. England was together with the Catholic Church, and the Pope would not allow it.
7. So Anne influenced King Henry to split away from the Catholic Church, and Henry can now make the "divorce" decision.
8. Henry and Anne married.
9. Anne had a baby girl (Elizabeth), but no boys.
10. Anne committed a huge crime, and was sentenced to death.

What struck me were two things:
First, Anne's baby girl, Elizabeth - is Queen Elizabeth 1 of England - the famous one that we always read about! I didn't know she had such an amazing story.

Secondly, Anglican church (part of Protestant) came from the separation of England with the Catholic Church.

***

I was surprised. So, the Anglican church came from a result of a seduction from a woman?

This historical record added another level of doubt that I always had towards the church. Not towards the Bible - I believe it's sovereignty. Who knows where does Methodist come from? Baptist? Are there good reasons than just the merely "different functions of the body of Christ" as the convenient answer? Could it have roots that are similar to the Anglican church?

***

I just had this little anger boiling in me when it comes to church traditions and teachings. About the things that churches "hide" from their congregation. What we were presented and educated with are selections from historical records. They are not painted in full picture. 

Argh.
 

Remembering Two People

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I just came back from a hike from Malaysia and was editing some photos.

Then I stumbled upon some old photos that I took in the States last year.

One of my most memorable experience was going to Disneyland with two amazing friends - Esther and Ellen. Two of the sweetest ladies I've ever met with kind and approachable demeanor. We went to different rides at Disneyland and had a phenomenal time together. All three of us met in a Cell Group at Stanford University.

Sundays have always been traditionally a very reflective day for me. This is where I call my aunties who raised me since young till 22 years old... where I reflect on my week's progress in terms of my goals... and sometimes, where I take a sweet dip into past memories, especially the ones I had in the States.

Thank God so much for this wonderful one year of 2011.

A Weekly Badminton Game

"I was in the same school as this Malaysian ASEAN scholar... when he ran for president during his college years, he spoke three languages. He was chosen. He was also a very smart and intelligent guy... He scored all As in his subjects...", Chua illustrated as he took another gulp of beer.

"He dated this girl for 5 years... and then they broke up. He went single until he was age 35. He was diagnosed with cancer. He died before the age of 40...", he ended his story of a very brilliant friend with a slightly dimmed tone.

****

We were at a hawker center at 10pm. We just finished our weekly Tuesday badminton game and we were enjoying our supper. It was a very interesting team of people. They were all retirees... people who have seen live from the beginning till almost the end, and what bonded them was just simple human friendship. They ordered the same old dishes, same old beer every Tuesday.

I was privileged to not have anything to do this summer break, and I decided to follow Kok Eng (a church friend) to his weekly badminton game with these great people. I was, of course, the weakest among all - I don't play sports. A lady's husband just passed away, and I can see bits of sadness in her eyes whenever she mentioned about her late husband during our supper times.

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Joining them provides me with a different perspective on life... when I'm young, I'm busy pursuing so many things... and sometimes, I might forget to treasure the important things in life.

Chua's story of his brilliant classmate struck me - a person's life can just be turned off suddenly - with the strike of cancer. 

Talking and listening to their life stories remind me of things that I will not see in school or in my pursuit of dreams.

Back in Malaysia + Updates on Holiday Plans

For the past four days, I was working like a laborer. My family shifted house to a nearby area and I was busy packing the whole house. The first thing I opened my eyes in the morning, I had to groan in pain cos my whole body was aching from all the labor work. I dragged myself up and started work again. Shifting boxes, throwing things, pushing shelves, arranging books, sorting toothbrushes, toothpastes, body wash, shower gels... buying new shelves... sorting albums... sorting plastic bags... testing pens and throwing away all the broken ones... sorting stationeries... I did a pretty good job and Mom was happy.

I had this lady friend in church who still teases me of becoming a House-Dad one day. I think I can be a pretty good one. lol. I got the taste of being a full-time house-wife for 4 days. 

Anyways, for the past week, I've been waiting for a news that would change the course of my life pretty much.

Let me introduce you to the concept of an "Incubator" in the startup scene. It is basically a program where startups will "incubate" in a venue for 3 months. The program will offer mentorship, investor's advice, law advice, and whatever issues that a startup company needs to resolve but has nothing to do with the problem that the company is trying to solve. There are prestigious programs out there in the States especially, such as Y-combinator, 500 Startups, just to name a few.

Stanford University has their own Incubator program too, known as StartX. As Stanford University is well known for producing startup companies, their incubator program is very competitive. Me and my Co-founder decided to apply. If we get it, we will "incubate" in Stanford for 3 months during my summer holidays.

We applied. I drew a cartoon video as part of our presentation. My co-founder and CTO wrote their pitch about the team and product. 600 startups applied. 60 companies made it to an interview. We made it the first round.

For the interview, only 15-20 companies will be chosen eventually.

I had to Skype in at 5am in Singapore to face a panel of interviewers at Stanford together with my team. It was bad. They gave us a hard time like Simon Cowell.

I had hopes for it. I told my friends about it. I'm just waiting for the results that will determine my last summer holiday. 

****

I didn't get it. Now I have to tell all my friends that I have failed.

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Well, after so many dramas - applying to numerous companies in the States... asking help from Mentors... got into IDEO, rejected it, and then regretted it... asking for references from individuals in the States... applying for an incubator...

I ended up with NOTHING. Zero. A Free man.

****

Actually come to think of it, I kind of like that. Free to do whatever I want. I'll keep improving my skills to be a Interaction Designer by mastering the web programming language (HTML5, CSS, Javascript) and Designer tools (Adobe Photoshop, Adobe Illustrator, Adobe Dreamweaver, Adobe InDesign, Adobe Fireworks). I'll continue to work on my Startup. I'll swim 3 times a week. Probably I'll start some fun personal projects. 

There're some plans for music too. Have a gig with Imprompt-3 (my own band) in mid May. Will be playing for the album launch of a church friend (Jean) by end of May. Have a wedding to attend in end of June. Plan to learn more Jazz.

Also, I've always wanted to learn dance. Maybe I'll go to a dance school to get myself exposed a little.

Well, be prepared to hear me rant in the next few blog posts about me being REAL lonely. Cos I don't see myself hanging out with a lot of friends this Summer. Most of them have graduated and they're travelling around the world for their graduate trips. 

My typical day that I will foresee myself going through is:

Wake up at 8.30am. 
Go swimming till 10am. 
Eat breakfast till 11am. 
Go back room and laze around... do some chores. 
Eat lunch at 1pm. 
Start to learn softwares till 4pm.
Go out to take some classes or play some music.
Have dinner.
Come back, work on personal projects.
Sleep.

Every. Single. Day. for 3 months.

Okay. Apple U Win.

If you read my previous post - I sold my iPad 1 and I wanted to see how long can I last without an iPad.

Well, I reasoned myself out in less than 2 hours, and I went to get the New iPad the next day.

I sold it at 5.30pm (day 1), bought a new one at 12pm (day 2). 

I'm amazed at how sometimes I can reason myself into such irresponsible spending. Below are my reasoning that I used to convince myself:

1. I can't use it anymore.
My iPad 1 keeps crashing. There was once I went for an interview and I wanted to show the person my design portfolio. But my Evernote (an app I used to store my files) keeps crashing because my iPad 1 is not strong enough to take the load. I stopped using it to take notes in class too because it's slow and lags.

2. It's too heavy.
I stopped carrying the iPad around because it's heavy. I stored a lot of my music scores inside so that I can occasionally bring it to church and play but I don't anymore.

Then I reasoned that - there's no point keeping an iPad that cannot serve my purpose anymore. So I may as well sell it. And yeap there you go.

I know it's lame. lol.

Sold my iPad

Today I sold my iPad 1 16gb plus 3G together with the original apple case ($60) and a screen protector ($30) for $380. I think I looked like a jerk now cos I sold it at such a low price.

Anyways, I'll see how long can I survive without an iPad. Lol. Feeling that a piece of my life just went away. Planning to get an iPad 2...

Best regards,

Jensen
(about.me/jensentan)

A Morning Email

This morning, I received an email from IDEO to say about my application being unsuccessful. The thing is, I was ACCEPTED! But it didn't fit my schedule. I should have taken a leave of absence. I just realized that I was actually chosen out of 400 international applicants. Lol. At least that was a little ego-booster. haha! All my efforts now are going to be aiming to work at IDEO full time one day. Learning the skills etc... Just imagine working at the Heart of Innovation... wow... the world no. 1 company that pioneers and coins the term "design thinking"... 

Where the company only recruits A players (meaning top players), and you can learn from the BEST people around the world. Solve the world's BEST problems. 

***********

Hello!

Thank you for applying to IDEO's wildcard intern position. We're sorry if it's been a really (or reeeeeaaaaalllllyyyy) long time since you've heard from us. We had nearly 400 applicants for this position, and we wanted to take the time to understand each individual. Unfortunately, at this time, we didn't see a perfect fit between your skills and what we are looking for this year. But, if you're getting this letter, we were really impressed by you and intrigued by your skills. We'd like to keep your information on file so that we can contact you if we feel another opportunity emerges. Since we we really impressed, we'd also love it if you'd keep IDEO in your sights for future, full-time work. Please make sure to visit our site often - we post everything there and would welcome your application again.


Again, thank you for taking the time to share with us who you are. We're honored.

Best of luck in your summer search.

- IDEO Recruiting 

Notable Quotes

Recently, I've stumbled upon some really amazing quotes that spoke to me. Here are two:

"You can never make the same mistake twice... because the second time you make it, it's not a mistake, it's a choice".

"Don't base your decisions on advice from people who don't have to deal with the results".

Seeing the Light

I know this example has been overused... but I'm going to use it because I'm seeing it revealing in my life.

Steve Job's mantra on "connecting the dots".

He said, you've just gotta move on with life having the faith that when you look back, you will see how the dots are connecting to each other, leading to where you are now. You might not see a reason now, but you will - in the future. 

As of today, I'm finally seeing the reason why:

1. I'm in Engineering and not Business.
I used to envy my friend so much who is in business school. They seem to study the things that are so cool... and I really liked them.

2. I still have school for 1 more year.
I cringed at the word "school". I'm delaying for one year because I went to the States for internship. I hated school. All my friends have graduated.

I sort of saw how these two puzzles piece together after talking to people, trusting my intuition, and following the flow of life. I suddenly had this idea of doing my StartUp project for my Final Year Project. Firstly, I can advance my startup forward; secondly, I can finally learn to be a User Interface Designer, which is one of my next dream moving forward. 

I had two passions before this. I let go of Music once I started to perform solo performances in Singapore. I've had a taste of it and I'm contented. I still keep playing, but mostly in churches and just keeping it low. My another passion is in cartoons. I decided to let go of it after I've done many projects that I'm proud of while I was in the States, ranging from self-publishing a book (endorsed by top guys in Silicon Valley) to doing a project for Stanford University.

My next one - User Interface Design. Learning how to develop websites that interacts with the user.

Sounds cheap, isn't it? At first, it does sound cheap. A Web Site Designer? 

When I meet my professor when I asked him to supervise me for my project, I said I wanted to pick up HTML5, CSS and Javascript together with my Final Year Project. His next reply changed my whole perspective about developing a skill.

"You cannot just build something using HTML5 and that's it. Any polytechnic student can do it. The differentiating factor behind a University student and a Poly student is - University undergraduates design with an intent - to solve a research question."

Good for me. My research question is my start up idea. He then approved my project.

But what I've learned from him is - yes, the skill itself is cheap. What adds value to it is - the design intent. Designing to solve a problem. Designing a website to launch my startup - to get people to sign up. Design with a Strategy in mind. Thinking of the user flow. Thinking on how to lead the user to use the product. That is what excites me. Design to tell a story.

How the dots connect:
1. I'm in Engineering instead of Business.
It makes sense now. The reason I can do a Final Year Project learning these web programming languages is because I'm in Engineering, not Business. And the reason I can do a more "design" kind of programming is because I'm an Electrical Engineering, which does not require heavy programming language. If I'm a Computing student, I would have dealt with databases etc. which I hate.

2. I delayed my school for 1 Year.
I could just delay by half a year but I wanted 1 year. I had time to think. To settle down. To find my next passion. It took me a whole semester to find my voice in the technical realm. I can finally work on something where I'm passionate about.

*****

The underlying bug
It's Silicon Valley. Good Designers are few. The people there treat designers like the Holy Grail of startups because design suddenly becomes so important after Apple led a precedence of flawless design. Business people are plentiful, and Programmers, despite less, are still many. Designers are the truly few ones. 

I guess that's probably what influenced me to take up this path. 

Somehow I felt that I'm going back there someday. 

Bleak hope for Internship

I applied to IDEO in San Francisco. It is the best Design Consultant company ever lived. I got accepted - except that I rejected it. And now I regretted.

They wanted me to work till end of September. My school starts in August. I rejected. After some thoughts, I want to apply Leave of Absence from school for half a year to go there. But... the position is taken.

I applied to 10 more design consultancy firms. No replies. Seems like IDEO is the only company big enough to be able to use my weird skills of cartooning as part of their consultant operations.

I got pretty down actually. Feels like I blew the opportunity. The more people I talk to, the more I realized how much I've screwed up. IDEO is like the Apple of Design Consulting; like how McKinsey is the king Business Consulting.

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On the flip side, I decided to take a step back and look at a larger picture.

Maybe it's a sign for me to take life slower? Do the things that I enjoy doing... maybe I won't get a chance of doing after I graduate?

A couple of things on my list:
- Learn more jazz piano
- Learn Social Dancing
- Learn Hip Hop Dancing
- Learn singing
- Learn acting from an acting school
- Get a chance to sing and act in a school play

****

Sigh.
Posterous theme by Cory Watilo